For Mother, April 12, 2005

As I sit down to write, to memorialize our mother, to honor our mother, I can only wonder what I am supposed to say, what I should say and what I want to say about our mother, Cheryl.

Few things are clear to me now that our mother is gone. As I feel empty and alone, I know that I am not, as you are all here to remember our mother as you knew her and as I knew her. She meant different things to different people. One could say that this creates a whole person. A wife, a mother, a grandmother and a dear friend.

I am aware that our mother has become distant from friends in the recent past, however, I know that you were in her thoughts often and she spoke of you fondly.

Our mother has taught us many things through stories so rich in color and cheer that I feel as though I was there even if I wasn't.

Mostly, that life is what you make of it, through the love of friends and family, though the passion of art or the joy of humor.

As I look at my boys, Ethan and Emerson, the jewels of my mother's eyes, I remember when my grandmother passed away. My most vivid and fondest memories seemed to focus on the brownies she sent quite often, even into my adult years.

My pursuit to recreate those wonderful treats has always fallen a bit short. I've even gone so far as to wrap them in wax paper packed in a round tin and sent them to myself via UPS in the hope that the transit would complete the process of the perfect brownie.

I know today, that I will never be able to find the missing piece to the recipe.

Whether those pursuits of memories are that of taste, or of smell, or of sound or touch; they only serve to preserve the feelings of love and nothing else.

Chase the memories of our mother to enrich your lives and those around you.

I will always be a momma's boy.