A Decoupage of Piss and Greed

My first and last post including the name Teddy Geiger is as follows:

Our hometown boy, Teddy Geiger, was spotted in a public restroom in Dickson City, PA by my oldest son. We had to make a quick jaunt down to Jersey for my mother-in-laws sixty fifth surprise birthday party. As I stood there, taking care of the business at hand, I was thinking about some new tactics to change the world.

As we finished our purchase of road snacks and beverages my oldest said, "That's Teddy Geiger." Very little enthusiasm.

"Do you want to get a picture with him for your collection of Brushes with Greatness?"

A curt, "No." I chose not to press the topic.

Arriving in Jersey with an hour or so to kill, we passed the time at my brother-in-laws house. A mish-mosh of poor architectural stylings, seemingly common with new big dollar homes. The house was blazing hot inside. A recon of the thermostat setting revealed the air conditioning was set for eighty two degrees. Cheap bastard. Three quarters of a million bucks and nearly half way to the boiling point of argon.

"Open some windows in here."

"But the air conditioning is on."

"Oh, really?" I suspect they also have a phobia of the wind.

The surprise was indeed a surprise, or my mother-in-law is an accomplished actress on the side. And food, lots of food. Almost enough to be considered absurd. A bit over the top and wasteful if you ask me. None the less quite tasty, indeed.

Back to the sweat lodge. Unbearable. Sticky. And a creeky bed to boot. The bedside table had one of those fancy alarm clocks that mimic those soothing sounds that enduce sleep. The ocean, birds, wind and the like.

Open the mother fucking windows and get it for free instead of a annoyingly repetitive digital mindfuck machine that is using unnecessary amounts of electricity. First digital flags and now this.

Gone shortly after sunset and on the road back to WNY my mind began racing for an answer to my quest to change the world. Or at least one person's day, for better or worse. I mean, if I can in some way change the course of history with some silly but interesting antics why not try.

It dawned on me, the Answer, as we stopped for a break and slid in the back entrance of a Burger King in Binghamton to use the john. Burger Kings are wonderful places for a piss break as many have a door right near the can so you don't need to do the Walk of Shame past the counter at the main entrance.

I took a dollar bill and placed it on the back surface of a the urinal and briskly showered it with Diet Coke byproducts processed by yours truly. The next passerby has a decision to make. Ignore it or go for it. Maybe it will be J.P., the name signed to the back of the door a mere 15 minutes before the beauty of art was created in the officially approved clean facility. Upon exiting I motioned to my wife to take a look. She entered and gave me the nod. The nod of approval. However, she stated that it may have been more suitable to face the back of the bill forward. Point taken. Yet another reason I love her dearly.

Someone is sure to snatch the dollar at some point, either based on greed or actual need.

Both, equally tragic.

Photographic documentation forthcoming upon correction of server issues.