Monkey gets a call from The NRA

Why you say?

Because AMERICA IS IN DANGER!!!! according to pistol packin' telemarketing life member that called Casa de Monkey this evening. For a quick second I thought it was a gag. Me? You're calling me? I was asked to take part in a brief one question poll after a message from the NRA's Wayne LaPierre. To be honest with you, with a name like that I would consider packin' too. That would be kind of Kuhl.

So I listened to the 1-2 minute statement and was then asked the question. My hearts beats with anticipation.

Do you want the government to to prevent you from owning a gun?

A short sweet and loaded question. Before I answer I asked for some clarification from the caller as to what kind of guns we're talking about here.

All of them he said. Hmm. Really? All of them? Hmm.

The purpose of the call was, of course, money. They need my help, me the Monkey, to protect the Second Amendment from the "gun hating liberals". The Constitution will be voided without it and we will be stripped of our rights as free Americans. I reminded him of the PATRIOT Act under this Administration. What about the Fourth, Fifth and Eighth Amendments, sir?

Silence.

He then began to address H.R. 1022 introduced by a "New York Democrat", in his finest southern twang, apparently unaware of the geographic location of this monkey. And lest we forget about the evil Clinton or Obama, he even used the middle name, gaining the esteemed Oval Office. Oh the horror!

Did you use Obama's middle name to imply he's a terrorist?

Silence.

Our back and forth lasted about thirty five minutes as I dodged his repeated requests for membership numerous times and we then ended up back at the poll question.

Mr. Monkey, sir, do you want the government to prevent you from owning a gun?

Pause.

Silence.

Wait for it! Wait for it! He's on the edge of his seat, I can feel it.

Sir?

FUCK YOU!

Silence.